Primary

Funny story.

In my second book, Bullies in the Headlights, I reference a church song in which the words have been changed. Here are the original words:

I have two little hands folded snugly and tight,
They are tiny and weak yet they know what is right.
During all the long hours till daylight is through,
There are plenty of things for my two hands to do.

In the book, I changed the words to the following:

I have five little fingers on one of my hands,
I have six on the other, I don't understand.
During all the long hours till daylight is through,
I have one little finger with nothing to do.

My sons, of course, like my version better. In my book I have actions that go along with the new words, one of these actions are to stick one's finger up one's nose.

So whenever we all get together for singing time, they sing my version, and do my actions. I've found it quite funny over the last few months, but today it all came back to bite me in the end.

We're moving next week, so this is our last time at church. In primary, they have what are called 'heartfelt' songs. Basically, it's a child's favorite song. Whenever we sing that song, the child whose heartfelt song it is, stands at the front and sings it with everybody.

Well, today the primary chorister said, "It's the Jensen's last week, and it just so happens that all five of them have the same heartfelt song--I Have Two Little Hands. So we want them to come up and lead us in the song.

I should mention that I teach a primary class, so I'm sitting right there.

My five boys look shell shocked. They're supposed to lead the class not only in word, but in action. They don't know the real words, let alone the real actions. They stood there like deer in the headlights while the rest of the primary sang the song. The other kids looked confused because my boys weren't singing their heartfelt song.

That's bad enough, but it gets worse.

After the song the chorister, sounding a little confused, asked, "Why is that your favorite song?"

Son number three was quick to fill in the details. "My dad changed all the words and actions, so we like it."

There was a few seconds of silence, and then the chorister looked at me. "Well then, why don't we ask Brother Jensen to come up and teach us his way."

My turn to look like a deer in the headlights.

Have I mentioned my wife is in primary as well? I look back at her and she is at once able to motion to me--a motion I interpret as 'if you get up and teach them that song you're going to sleep on the couch for a year--and at the same time motion to the chorister that no, Brother Jensen's version might not set the right tone for the rest of primary.

It took some convincing, but we finally got the kids singing time back on track, and we escaped without further corruption of our little primary children.

Hopefully we can do as little damage at our next ward.

Can't pass up this article

I haven't taken a break from blogging, I've just been doing it somewhere else. My blog over at Open Author is hopping, and has been taking up a lot of my time. Make sure to subscribe if you haven't already.

However, I couldn't pass up this great article from Wired. The content was interesting, but the sealing deal was this quote. If you know me, you know I can't pass up an article with a quote like this without mentioning it.

"As a result, Falcon was able to begin selling its urinals to St. Clair Hospital in Pittsburgh. Those units have been in operation since 2004. So far, there have been no urinal-related deaths."

Kickstarter

Well, my kickstarter campaign has ended. I finished with almost $3,000 raised of the $5,500 I needed. And while technically it was a failure, I learned some valuable things. If any of you are thinking of starting your own kickstarter campaign (and it can be used for more than just publishing books), here are a few lessons learned.

• You've got a have a good pitch. I think the video I put together really helped. I was overwhelmed by how many of my friends and family donated to the project, but I was also amazed at how many total strangers donated money, just based on the video and my pitch. You can't just throw up a page that says, "Hey, I need money."
• You have to be fearless when it comes to marketing. Network, network, network. This is where I fell short. I posted the link to Facebook a few times. I posted here, and on Twitter. Every time I did I'd see more people donate. But I didn't want to turn into one of those blogs or Twitter feeds that is just pestering people to donate. I've never been a good marketer, and this time was no exception. I should have been passing out cards, and telling everybody I knew...but I didn't.
• Kickstarter works. I've seen a lot of projects get funded, some incredibly so. This one asked for $10,000 and got over $200,000. I'm convinced that Kickstarter and other similar sites provide a new model that decentralizes the whole grant process. And that is a good thing.

I'm glad I started the project. I heard from many people telling me they enjoyed the first chapters. It's motivated me to redouble my agent/publisher hunting and try once again to get this book published.

Thanks to all of you who supported.

Just a reminder...

I've steered more of my posts on writing to my other blog, http://marionjensen.com Make sure to update your Google reader or RSS feed. I wish there was some easy way to do a re-direct, but I haven't had the time to sit down and figure it out. Plus, I don't want to walk away from my Google page rank.

Statistics from an 8 mile run

Number of runners/walkers/bikers I saw - 51
Number of dogs I saw- 8
Number of dogs I saw making a doo doo - 2
Number of owners I saw cleaning up after their dogs - 0

THE JORDAN RIVER PARKWAY IS NOT YOUR DOG'S PERSONAL BATHROOM

Morons.

Technology overload

I just realized that we have six computers in our house. That isn't counting the Wii, my Android phone, etc., it's just the traditional computers. Here are some stats:

Laptops - 3
Desktops - 3
Windows XP - 2
Windows 7 - 2
Ubuntu - 1
Leopard - 1
Dell - 5
Mac - 1

So, my goal is to get one more computer. That way we'll have one computer per person in the family.

Now I just need to get my wife into World of Warcraft. Then family time would consist of each of us going to our separate corners, logging in, and fighting virtual monsters until the cows come home.

Pacing

I ran my first 5k of the season. The picture of me to the right is not the picture of the race today. But I like the picture, and it's of me running, so I'm posting it so those of you who don't like to read can know what the post is about, without looking at all this boring text.

Anyway, I brought my iPod this morning, but alas, the battery was dead. I was forced to run without any tunes. I NEVER run without tunes, and I think it threw off my pacing.

Last year I ran a race and started off too quick. I ended up sucking air the entire race, and almost vomited at the end. My race time was horrible and I was hacking for days. I learned my lesson--you have to pace yourself.

So this morning I started off a little slow. I settled in behind a woman and then finally passed her when she started walking. There was another guy ahead of me in blue shorts, and it seemed that he and I were running about the same pace. I set the goal trying to keep up. He was about fifty feet ahead of me.

But with about half a mile to go, I realized I wasn't breathing that hard, nor was I sweating. I decided to turn up the heat a little. I'd sprint for a bit and see if I could catch up to blue shorts.

It felt fantastic. I realized I had been running at a much slower pace than I thought. I caught up to the guy very easy, although I slowed down when I passed him. I also breathed hard, so he wouldn't feel bad. Then I saw I still had time to pass yet another guy before the finish line. I passed him and finished the race with a decent time for a pudgy, middle-aged white guy. I sprinted the last half mile.

Anyway, it reminded me of the important of pacing. If you run too fast you're going to burn out too soon If you run too slow--if you don't push yourself--you're never going to improve.

So the next time you come up with some wild and crazy idea, go ahead and get excited--dream big, and then set some reachable goals and get started. Push yourself, celebrate the victories along the way, and don't forget to use Vaseline so you don't chafe.

Wait, forget that last piece of advice. I think the analogy kind of breaks down at that point.